


Flee into you

by melonbutterfly



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-30
Updated: 2010-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-24 04:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life really does write the most fascinating stories, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flee into you

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I posted this on LJ and then didn't transfer it along for personal reasons when I moved all my stories to AO3.
> 
> Inspired by schneefink's "Arrival in Pegasus", originally based on lavvyan's "Lord of the Sea"; go [here](http://jaffa-for-hire.livejournal.com/259.html) for the stories preceding this one or being set in the same 'verse.
> 
> One last thing: I didn't proofread before reposting. Sorry about that.

Mer'deth is buried to the elbows – and quite literally too; he really truly _loathes_ the organic design of the Wraith ships; the knowledge is very literally _buried_ , he very literally has to _dig in deep_ to find the truly useful, interesting stuff, and he has to be very cautious too because of the damn Wraith-DNA-synchronicity and, as if that weren't enough, the damn neural interfacing, both of which he is lacking which means he could trigger automatic self-defence anytime, unless he wants to explore the technology without energy which is pretty much useless, and he could really do without John's constant whining, _thank you very much_ ( _You think it's disgusting yourself_ , John nags, _and you won't even let me fight or fly properly but expect me to stand back and let you risk our life with these damn things? Get real, Mer'deth, seriously, this is just as dangerous if not more_. They both remember Nee, the first and hopefully only of their Jaffa who died because she triggered the Wraith self-defence system, and they have seen a lot, but still shudder at the memory for her death was not an easy one by far) – in some kind of console when Ronon comes back, bringing more news from Teyla and the Earthlings.  
  
John and Mer'deth have been arguing back and forth for a while now, ever since Ronon first told them abut the new arrivals; at first about those people from Earth that currently reside on Athos and whether they should contact them (they both aren't really sure; they don't want to because of Rodney, and because being away from Earth makes bearing his loss a little easier, but Mer'deth knows John misses some things, which John is in violent denial about; then there is the whole squabble with them being technically Goa'uld, with Jaffa entourage et al, which would be a political disaster if nothing else; neither of them can imagine that the Tau'ri will react any different towards them than the Tok'ra have, and they have enough at hands with the war against the Wraith, and all that is not even taking into account the fact that it's highly probable that it's members of the SGC Teyla is currently hosting, and it's not unlikely one of them will recognise John and then they'll try to _save_ him), and when they had been unable to make a decision about that, they had moved on to older arguments about Mer'deth's insistent refusal to let John fight or fly in a manner that he deemed 'properly', and John's annoyed worry about Mer'deth's 'insufficient safety precautions'. They aren't fighting per definition; they're simply going through old arguments that will probably never come to a conclusion. It's what they do when they know they have to make a decision but are unable to find a quick solution because they have the same thoughts, the same fears, agree on the advantages and disadvantages. It had been almost the same spiel when their Jaffa had found the ancient outpost and the information on it, of the city in another galaxy they were now trying to find; for days after the initial argument, they had squabbled about the smallest things but the most important one, until one night they had made each other realise that there actually wasn't much choice involved. (A galaxy with a Rodney-shaped hole against a galaxy that had never had him in the first place – easy choice.)  
  
But now, they probably won't have the luxury of days to decide; Ronon has relayed all the information Teyla had gotten from the Tau'ri the previous day to them, and though they hadn't said so in so many words, it seemed they couldn't go back. They depended completely on Teyla's goodwill right now; though they had some necessities, it appeared they had had to leave in a hurry. And Tau'ri – all humans really – that feel insecure are unpredictable and dangerous, and with a hibernating Hive ship near Athos housing thousands of sleeping Wraith, neither John nor Mer'deth are willing to risk anything.  
  
"Sheppard. Mer'deth," Ronon says, well-aware that he needs to make himself noticed unless he wants to stand there and be ignored for hours if Mer'deth is the one in control.  
  
Mer'deth only snarls; he isn't making any progress with the damn Wraith interface, and neither are any of his Jaffa that are currently crawling all over the room, getting covered in disgusting slime and trying not to kill them all by triggering any self-defence-system. None of them are in a particular good mood, and their whining on top of John's nagging, combined with the distinct and insistent lack of anything resembling chocolate and only Teyla's Athosian tea coming close to coffee in this galaxy, served to mark this as a Very Bad Day in Mer'deth's book. (John never says it, but he greatly appreciates how Mer'deth, for all his complaining, never lists the actually, seriously bad days either of them have gone through; had he said it, though, Mer'death would have informed him haughtily that they naturally operate on a different scale.)  
  
Ronon isn't much impressed by that reaction; he has gotten used to ignoring Mer'deth's moods quicker than to the fact that they were two independent minds in one body. "Teyla says the Tau'ri seem to think the Athosians are stupid. They have 'covertly' asked if there is anyone technologically advanced in this galaxy." Ronon shrugs, the corners of his mouth lifting; the naivety of the Tau'ri (and really the Goa'uld too, for all he knows about them) and the value they place on technology, that for the Pegasus Galaxy's natives is a means to an end at most and a threat that attracts the attention of the Wraith at worst, seems to amuse him. And while Mer'deth and his Jaffa have slowly started to change this disregard of technology, since what they brought not only helps as protection but also makes people's work more efficient, most of the Pegasus Galaxy's natives probably never will change their core philosophy, honed through thousands of years living under the Wraith: live life at its fullest. Every day could be your last. Don't waste your time with things that aren't absolutely necessary for your survival.  
  
Both John and Mer'deth like this philosophy, except that last part, which continues to provide Mer'deth with ranting material on ignorance and stupidity, his two favourite ranting topics.  
  
With a truly disgusting noise, Mer'deth pulls his arms out of the interface and grimaces; he still hasn't gotten used the smell and it is all he can do not to get sick all over the damn thing. One of his less intelligent servants (which means he is considerably more intelligent than about ninety-nine point nine percent of all other Jaffa serving any other Goa'uld still) quickly brings him a bucket of warm water, sponge, soap and a towel; while he lets him wash his arms, Mer'deth looks at Ronon and asks, "She didn't tell them about you or the Genii, did she?" He knows she wouldn't have told them about himself, so he doesn't even ask about that.  
  
Ronon raises both eyebrows. "What do you think?"  
  
_Seriously, Mer_ , John says chidingly. _She's not stupid_.  
  
"I know that!", Mer'deth snaps. "How long does she think they will wait until they go out and start sticking their noses into worlds they have no business in?" Because that would be their downfall; only a few tentative questions (if at all; some people are pretty willing to sing Mer'deth's praise to anyone who will listen nowadays, not that he minds) would quickly get them all the information they needed about the Lord in his spaceship; the one who is destroying the Wraith and trades technology and protection against information, their brightest people's services and sustenance. It won't take much for them to figure out they are Goa'uld; only one comment about the gold discs on their Jaffa's heads and they would be facing a war. A war they would most likely win, but a war nonetheless. And with the Wraith rising, they can't afford even a skirmish like this, not if they still want to have a reasonable chance at defeating the Wraith (and both John and Mer'deth are determined to wipe them out; this is the first time since That Day they have felt this alive, both equally having a purpose, a goal, even if their motivations differ; Mer'deth is more enamoured with the tech and less with the thought of saving a galaxy, though he really likes being worshipped).  
  
Ronon shrugs. "Dunno. Couple of days?" He watches while Mer'deth dries his hands and arms, uncharacteristically silent. "So, what are you going to do?"  
  
"We don't know," John says, seamlessly taking over. But it isn't like they have much choice; they can't hide from the Tau'ri (the mere thought appals Mer'deth, but they would have done it if it had been possible and necessary), so their only option is to meet them first, thus controlling the circumstances.  
  
*  
  
"But how can we find out how to raise the city without having access to its computers?", Rodney asks for what feels like the millionth time. The lack of reason in Dr. Weir's decision simply baffles him, though with the experience he has with the SGC, it really shouldn't have. How can she expect him to actually provide her with reasonable odds to actually survive another breach of the city with its failing shields if she won't allow him to go back to search its database? He is _sure_ the Ancients, however stupid or not they might have been (Rodney is reluctant to all but worship them the way most people at the SGC do; even the stupidest person ever could invent something useful if only given enough time and resources, and the fact that the Ancients all but vanished into thin air speaks louder than all their achievements, in his opinion), would have some kind of failsafe built in that prevented the city from actually drowning; anything else would be arrogant and just plain stupid. Even Rodney, who only ever expects the worst from everyone, doesn't think anyone could be that blind.  
  
"Doctor McKay," Dr. Weir says, looking somewhere between annoyed and tired, and for a moment, Rodney feels guilty for adding to the mountain of problems she is currently facing. It certainly isn't easy to try to settle nearly two hundred personnel in a foreign world on a foreign planet in a foreign galaxy with as little resources as they have, depending on the goodwill of the Athosians who, for all their friendliness and willingness to help, are little more than farmers. But that is actually the point; Rodney is sure if only she let him, he could find a way to make the city available for everyone, and then that problem and many others along with it would be solved. Once the danger of drowning has been averted, the city will provide a safe haven for all of them and then some, and then they can go look for a ZPM as well as start what they really have come here for; to explore. And exploring is really all that Rodney has left; knowledge and finding ways to make things better for everyone – he can't lose that too. "It's simply too risky. Until we know more I cannot allow anyone to go back into the city."  
  
"You don't get it – how can we find out more if we don't go back? Look, I'll go alone, that way-"  
  
"I said no," Dr. Weir interrupts him harshly. "I know you're the only one for the job, and if in a month we haven't found out anything more, I will think about it again – but it is the last option, do you understand?"  
  
" _A month_?" Rodney gapes. "Are you _serious_?"  
  
" _McKay_ ," she says. "What if it doesn't work? What if you can't find the information you need quickly enough? What if that information isn't even there, simply because the Ancients didn't expect to ever leave the city, or to have ever someone operating it who doesn't know? What if the city gets flooded before you can get out? You will drown, and we will never find out what happened to you – and we will never get home. Atlantis is the only way back to the Milky Way, and apart from that, as you yourself like to point out, you are our most important scientist. You are our foremost expert in Ancient, Asgard and Goa'uld technology, and we simply can't afford to lose you – if we never make it back to Atlantis, you are our only chance of finding a way to contact Earth, not to mention go back."  
  
Rodney knows all that, has calculated the odds; she is right. Without him, the expedition's chances of making it back to earth are practically nil (though without Atlantis or another, similarly advanced people they are anyway). But he can't help but feel like she's holding him back; she's being too cautious. Yes, their situation is bad, perhaps even desperate depending on how you look at it (though Rodney knows what real desperation, real helplessness is like, and this barely comes close yet), but they have a way of making it better. And even if they don't (he has calculated those odds too; he knows his chances of managing to rise the city within the few hours of power the shields will have left if he goes back and starts using power rifling through the data base are low), they will still at least have determined that this is no option and can concentrate on something else. But it's this, this _limbo_ that Rodney can't bear; for nearly two years now he has done his best to always stay busy, only resting when he all but collapses from exhaustion. Here, there is little to occupy him; the Athosians have no electricity, so they have no way to power their computers until they start up their naquadah generators, and Elizabeth hasn't allowed that yet. Their top priority right now is, according to her, to find accommodation for every expedition member, which means cramping as many people as possible into the tents they borrowed from the Athosians, as well as finding sustenance or a way to trade for it, since they can't expect Teyla and her people to feed two hundred more people. For now they have MRE's, but those won't last forever, especially with most of their stash still in Atlantis.  
  
And Rodney understands the necessity of all that, he really does. But they have only been here for little more than a day, and already everyone is growing restless, worried; they need something to do, something to concentrate on, and Rodney needs it more than anyone, for unless he has something else to think about, he will start thinking what Mer'deth would say in this situation (a whole lot), what John would have done, had he been in Sumner's place (he sure wouldn't have treated Teyla and the Athosians with such barely concealed disdain), and that way – that way lay madness.  
  
"Doctor McKay?", Dr. Weir asks, and, oh great, Rodney has completely lost track of the conversation.  
  
He takes a breath, trying to make it less shaky than it could be, opens his mouth to say-  
  
"Doctor Weir?" Chuck, Dr. Weir's odd-job guy who has been running around on errands for her ever since they arrived, pokes his head into the tent that right now serves as conference room (at night, people sleep there; they don't have enough tents as it is and can't afford to waste any on equipment, much less something as luxurious as privacy). "The Athosian leader, Teyla, and that guy Ronon are here and wish to speak to you. They brought some people to help and some supplies they could spare."  
  
"Thank you, let them in please," Dr. Weir says, and Chuck steps aside to let the two natives in. Rodney doesn't quite know what to think about either of them; Teyla is one of those women who kind of intimidate him (the kind he is too scared to have sexual thoughts about for fear they somehow can see it on his face and beat him up for it), but she also naturally inspires trust. Ronon is just plain intimidating, emphasised by how he tries (and succeeds) to be even more intimidating; also, his role in this society is unclear to any of them. Teyla hasn't offered any explanation, but Ronon has left Athos twice since they arrived; he seems to be the only one, as far as Sumner's soldiers who are patrolling the area can tell.  
  
"Doctor Weir, Doctor McKay," Teyla says, but before she can say anything more, Sumner enters the tent, offering no explanation; he simply crosses his arms and proceeds to stare at Teyla and Ronon. Rodney can practically feel the hostility vibrating in the air between him and Ronon; for a moment, nobody says anything. Then Teyla purposefully turns her back on Sumner and addresses Dr. Weir.  
  
"Halling tells me you have… queried about more technologically advanced people in this galaxy."  
  
Dr. Weir has the grace to look uncomfortable. "I in no way meant to insult you or your people, Teyla. We simply wish to know as much as possible about this galaxy, as we are new to it, and we had hoped that there might be someone who knows more about the precarious situation we are in."  
  
Teyla raises an eyebrow. "Since you have not told me much about this situation, there is no way for me to tell if I can help you. However, this is not why I am here. There are indeed some people who chose to technologically evolve farther than others; however, there is only one who potentially might be useful to you. I would not suggest it, though; the Genii have proven untrustworthy in the past and they will most likely try to trick and steal from you as much as possible."  
  
Sumner unsubtly snorts at that; there is no doubt he doesn't believe that anyone in this galaxy could be advanced enough to be actually a threat to them. Rodney tries to say something, but Dr. Weir puts a hand on his arm and throws him a glance. Once she is satisfied he won't say anything for the moment, she turns back to Teyla, who has ignored Sumner completely, and says, "Perhaps you could tell us more about the Genii? I will be honest with you, Teyla; we are desperate. We have no way of leaving this galaxy, and the place we had intended to stay in has proven to be too dangerous to risk staying at under current circumstances. Frankly, even if we can't trust them, the Genii might be our only chance, and at least we will be warned."  
  
For a moment, Teyla only looks at Dr. Weir; then she seems to come to a conclusion, for she abruptly says, "There is someone else. I have not mentioned them before, but they could definitely help you; they are friendly and have been very helpful in the past. They are very good friends of the Athosians and of many other people of this galaxy; they trade knowledge and technology for knowledge and sustenance." She pauses; Rodney throws a glance at Dr. Weir, and her hand on his elbow tightens. "I as the leader of the Athosians offer a neutral ground for you to meet. You are not to bring any weapons, as they will not bring any weapons; only you, Doctor Weir, and your second in command may attend." She pauses again and looks at Dr. Weir for a moment. "This is your one and only chance of meeting with them. They are friendly, but apprehensive of meeting the people of Earth. Since they trust me and my people, I have offered this, both as an opportunity to them as to you; to make new allies and benefit from each other. If you do not honour my word, you will not be welcome with the Athosians or any of their allies anymore – and the same law applies to them." She nods gracefully and continues before Dr. Weir can say anything else, "You may have time to think about my offer. Tomorrow morning, Ronon will come and, if you choose so, accompany you and your second in command to the meeting place I have decided on. Let us now talk about what further needs your people have, and what you are able to offer as trade now and at a later date."  
  
And that is what she proceeds to do, refusing to answer any other questions concerning those mysterious people she offers for them to meet; she only repeats the rules – no weapons, Teyla will negotiate, only Dr. Weir and her second in command are to attend – and ignores Sumner completely.  
  
*  
  
Once Teyla and Ronon leave, they have a _discussion_.  
  
Of course Sumner tries to insist Dr. Weir take him, and Rodney doesn't hone his words when he tells him that he would be totally useless – he might be able to protect Dr. Weir better than Rodney would, but he would be completely incapable of telling whether the technology of those mysterious allies of the Athosians might be of any use to them. Besides, Sumner is barely able to contain his disdain for the Athosians as it is, and they completely depend on them – what if those allies are actually more advanced than they are and less inclined to ignore him than Teyla?  
  
At that point, Dr. Weir tells them that no matter how they personally feel about it, it's a fact that Rodney is officially her second in command, and that puts an end to that discussion.  
  
Then Sumner brings up the topic of hiding weapons and secret escorts, and if he had anything to do at all, Rodney would have left the discussion at that point, but everything else he could do to help them would be tasks for the hands that let the mind wander freely, and he can do anything but that.  
  
*  
  
The next morning, Rodney and Elizabeth (who has told him that they should address each other by their first names to indicate that they trust each other and to portray a unified front) meet with Ronon and some other guy they haven't seen before who is just as tall and broad as Ronon is. They don't say anything, simply nod and then turn around and leave; Elizabeth and Rodney share a glance and follow them.  
  
Rodney has little sense of orientation, but he is almost sure they're not going into the direction of the Athosian settlement; however, he was only there once, two days ago when the whole Expedition had arrived only mere hours after arriving in Atlantis. And while a few days ago, he probably would have looked down his nose at them for their comparably primitive accommodating, he has since learned that in certain matters, the Earthlings can learn a lot from the Athosians – perhaps from most natives of the Pegasus Galaxy; he has no data on that yet.  
  
Between pondering that and trying not to stumble, Rodney is too busy to try to look ahead or remember where they are going; it is theoretically a tactical mistake, but Rodney figures he is pretty much done, at least if Teyla and Ronon betray them now. He knows he probably should not have gone on this mission to begin with because he's been threading on thin ice psychologically speaking ever since he had had to face the truth that he would probably never see John or Mer'deth ever again, but he had been about to lose his mind in the mountain. It had been this or leave the Stargate program altogether, and he is not that far gone.  
  
Which does not mean it would not have been the more wise decision in the long run.  
  
While he considers that, his psychological state and what he could and would be willing to do to alleviate his probably inevitable losing it, he only absently notes their surroundings; they are walking through a forest, not following any path that he notices. Elizabeth checks in regularly with Sumner, who she in the end talked down into a secret escort of two soldiers who are keeping track of them and will intervene at the first sign of trouble. Even with that, Elizabeth is uncomfortable; Rodney knows she is feeling very insecure and well over her head with the situation they are in and is thus very reluctant to potentially ruin practically the only good thing that has happened to them ever since they stepped through the stargate into a different galaxy. She has the whole expedition resting on her shoulders; its success and every life that followed her through the gate. But so does Sumner; the guy is just doing his job as well, and that is trying to keep everyone safe and sound, and either he has become so under the stress of their situation, or he has always been so paranoid and distrustful, but he's really just trying to ensure their safety as best as he can (at least that is what Elizabeth has told him; Rodney doesn't care much, to be honest). However, he certainly is no diplomat and has visibly no patience for such matters; that he is of American mindset doesn't help matters any either.  
  
John is American too, Rodney thinks before he can stop himself; he quickly pushes the thought away, looks up and around at their surroundings to distract himself.  
  
So naturally, when he sees someone who looks pretty fucking much like John sitting next to Teyla on a blanket (when did they leave the forest?), smiling at her and drinking tea, Rodney's first thought is that he is hallucinating. It's what he'd want to see if he could see anything he wanted, and isn't that silly? He should have wished to see the inside of a black hole, or a sun, or atoms, and yet, all he'd wish for if he could see anything would be John.  
  
But he can't be mistaken, is his second thought as he processes the view, because there are some details even someone as brilliant as him surely would need to spend some serious thought on before being able to make up (like the way John's skin seems golden, like the lightest maple syrup, and how his hair is of a dark brown like espresso or high quality 90% cocoa chocolate). And that is silly too because he _knew_ what John looked like; why would it be details like this that make him realise he's not hallucinating?  
  
_Because you forbid them_ , a voice in the back of his head whispers, _on the penalty of death_ , and that's true, that's true. He's never mistaken, but he must be. He's going crazy.  
  
"Rodney?", Elizabeth murmurs, warmth touching his elbow – it's her hand; she's taking hold of him, he belatedly notices – "is everything alright?" – and he realises he is standing frozen several metres from the blanket, staring, staring. He must have stopped moving the moment his eyes fell on John – but it's not John, it's not John – and that is silly too. So much is silly about him nowadays, except how it's not, and– he's going crazy.  
  
At the sound of her voice, the guy who is not John and sitting next to Teyla looks up, turns his head to look at them, and there is a roaring in Rodney's head sounding like a hurricane or perhaps a tsunami (though he's never been in either, how would he know what it sounds like?) and he can't move because god, it must be true that everybody has a twin somewhere, only they're not restricted to earth; this can't be John, and yet. And yet.  
  
And the guy says "Rodney" with his voice sounding hoarse and wrong, and Rodney takes a sudden breath, not even having noticed stopping, and as he realises what's going on he can barely stop the hysterical giggle that wells up in his throat (though it might actually be a sob). And suddenly, he's looking at the sky, and the weight in his throat has moved to his chest, and there's someone on him, holding him so tight he can barely breathe, wet at his neck and tickling his ear and cheek.  
  
Rodney realises he's lying on the ground the same moment he realises he's lost some time; it can't be more than a few minutes because Elizabeth is talking, but doesn't sound scared or angry or alarmed; she sounds freaked out, and Teyla is talking sometimes too, soothing, calming, but sounding a little rattled herself. He has never heard Teyla sounding anything but confident, but it's not like he actually knows her that well.  
  
A shadow falls over him – them, and Rodney's view of the clear blue sky is obscured by a head as someone bends over them. He moves his arms to wrap them around the body on top of him, holding on tight, before he even realises that it's Ronon, and Ronon says "Right" and moves away again. The person on top of him doesn't move, doesn't make any sound, doesn't even breathe, and the wetness at his neck is spreading. He smells foreign, completely unfamiliar, and still – not like John at all, yet at the same time so much like him, like home, like family, that it rips something in him deep open, something he never even knew had been closed.  
  
From the distance, Teyla's voice wafts over to them.  
  
"There once was a man," she says. "A man who worked for a group who called themselves SGC, Stargate Command. It was a group of men and women of various professions, soldiers and scientists and all of them adventurers, who took it upon themselves to explore every planet they could reach with their Ring of the Ancestors that they called Stargate. This man was a soldier; his job was to protect the team of four he was leading. It was dangerous work, but the man couldn't imagine doing anything else; this was what, he believed, he had been born to do.  
  
"He had a lover, this man, someone who was so important to him it took his breath away sometimes. The man this man loved was very much like him in how he loved his work, but in everything else, they were very different. But it was a difference that complemented, completed, not set apart; as many couples can only wish, together, the man and his lover together were better persons, better explorers; better than they each individually could ever hope to be. The man was content, happy even, and believed he had achieved everything he could ever wish from life; the small discontents he was living with were nothing compared to the gift of true love; true love for his profession and for his partner, who returned the emotion equally.  
  
"But, as life goes, that was when it all fell apart. The man and his team, of which his lover was a part of, went on another mission to explore; a mission that was supposed to be safe, peaceful, and while it was the latter, the temple they were exploring was anything but the former. Its stone ceiling collapsed while the man and his team were in it; the man got heavily injured.  
  
"His injuries were nothing compared to those of his lover, though. A huge part of the ceiling had fallen on him; there was little hope of his survival, even if it had been possible to rescue him immediately, which it was not.  
  
"The man's lover knew that, even if the man did not, and he decided that even if his own death was imminent, he would not allow the same to be true for his lover. He did something that at the time, the man did not understand; in fact, it took him very long until he was able to. For he man's lover gave him something precious; a gift of knowledge, of healing, of love. Only the gift was wrapped in a package the man had been taught to hate, for it came with the face of the SGC's enemy; a species that called themselves Goa'uld, snake-like creatures that burrows themselves into the body of a human and takes complete control of it."  
  
Elizabeth gasps and starts to say something, but Teyla stops her somehow before she can even utter the first syllable. Rodney's brain doesn't work.  
  
"Parting with his gift was the last thing the man's lover did before he let go of his last breath and died; the man went nearly mad with grief, a grief that was suddenly not his own anymore, that was shared by something else, somebody else in his body, in his mind. Somebody who spoke to him like he knew him, who talked like he knew his lover; somebody who had invaded him without permission. And so the man fought; fought this invader with everything he could, and he was still injured, was still dying, even though the Goa'uld had done everything he could to heal him.  
  
"The Goa'uld, who had been living in a peaceful union with the man's lover for years, was grieving himself, but he knew he could not allow this man, whom he and his symbiote both loved more than anything, to die; he was all that he had left of his host, the parting gift he had been given, and when he realised that no matter what he did, the man would not stop fighting, he made a decision. For there was a group that called themselves the Tok'ra; Goa'uld who lived in harmony with their hosts very much like this Goa'uld had, and he knew that if he offered all his knowledge about other Goa'uld, they would be willing to heal the man and free him from his invader, for they had made it their life's goal to free every person who had been taken over against their will. The Goa'uld knew they would kill him, for the Tok'ra despised every and all Goa'uld, but he decided he would rather die and have at least his former host's lover walk free than hurt the man they both loved.  
  
"And so it was that, when the man woke up, he found himself with the Tok'ra, body healed and the Goa'uld done. Yet, to his own surprise, the man was not happy about this, and when he heard from the Tok'ra of the fate that was awaiting the Goa'uld, he did not take long to decide that he would rather keep the Goa'uld himself than have him die; the Goa'uld who knew and had loved his lover very much like he had.  
  
"Thus, the man went and took the Goa'uld with him, invited him back into his body, and though they were not yet friends, there were several things they agreed about, and it helped them both to get used to each other. Together, they made their decisions; to share this man's body equally, fairly, and to protect each other.  
  
"They also agreed they would never go back to the planet the man and his lover had come from, to the SGC; everything they could still get there they could get somewhere else as well, and the memories were too painful for both of them. The loss they both suffered burned deep in them, and so they concentrated on everything else; they sought knowledge, explored their galaxy to its limits, choosing as their servants only the brightest and quickest offered to them, and never forcing anyone to work for them, trading for everything they wanted and needed instead. They found and explored and invented and shared their grief over what they had lost until one day, more than a year after they had been ripped apart and melded together, they found a building left behind by a race that we call the Ancestors. The building was full of the most beautiful technology, of stunning knowledge; soon, they realised that they could learn more from them than from any other species they had ever encountered. That was why, when they read in the database left behind by those Ancestors of a city, more beautiful than anything else the Ancestors had ever made, settled in another galaxy, the man and his friend did not hesitate much."


End file.
